The Butterfly and the Storm
by fasterassembly
Summary: Persona 4. Everyone meets a gender-bent version of themselves. And then Igorina comes in. Ensemble piece. Crack.


_Chiaki and Chie - That's what she said._

The girl stared at him.

So did Chiaki. Stare at the girl, that was.

Brown hair, check. Green jacket, check. Beating up on people who picked on little kids, check.

"W-what's going on here?" the girl said.

"I don't know," Chiaki said. "Are you my lost twin sister or something? Because if you are--hey, hey!" He caught her foot before she could connect it with his groin. The force of the impact rattled the bones in his hand, but it was better than the alternatives. "Look, I don't hit girls, got that?"

"Let go of me, you imposter!"

"I'm the imposter?! That's it, you little--"

Their punches reached one another at the same time. It seemed almost like slow motion: they were falling, ankles crossed, feet lifting off the ground, falling down towards each other, Chiaki on top, the girl beneath him. Then his elbows were in the grass of the Samegawa, and the girl beneath him was rubbing her cheek, grinning a bit at him.

"Hey," she said. "That was pretty hot. You box or something?"

"Kung fu isn't all about kicks." Chiaki was pretty sure she knew that: he was almost certain that one of his ribs was bruised, if not outright broken. She was rubbing the spot where she had punched him apologetically, and... and she was kind of cute, wasn't she? With that little grin on her face and in that jacket--

"Let's make out," she said, her cheeks flushed and eyes bright.

"Yeah," Chiaki said, a bit breathless. "Let's do it."

---

"... and then we had sex," Chiaki concluded, a satisfied grin on his face. "Kind of weird, huh?"

"Ah..." Yuuki adjusted his red scarf. "Well."

Chiaki's jaw went slack. "You're joking me."

"She was very polite about it," said Yuuki. "Right up until the point where she laughed at my erection." He was trying to look dignified. Then, deflating a bit, he said, "You don't think--"

"Don't need to see it, man."

* * *

_Yukiko and Yuuki - It really wasn't that funny._

The girl in his room was half-naked, her shoulders bare and kimono pooling around her body. Yuuki, for a moment, could only stand there in a mute horror.

"Ah," he said. "You--"

"Yes," said the girl. "Can't you... close the door?"

"Oh, yes! Of course." He shut the door, and tugged his scarf up a bit higher. Oh, dear god, what had that been? A-a half-naked girl i-in his room. Even worse, ihe/i had been taking off _his_ shirt because _he_ was about to get into _his_ kimono, and--

The door opened again. The girl came out, averting her eyes from his. She was, Yuuki realized, quite pretty in the pink, nearly red, kimono. She looked almost exactly like his mother: long, black hair. Pale skin. Warm eyes. Delicate-looking, but probably had a mean backhand slap.

She was staring at him, too.

"You look exactly like my--"

"Mother," he said, just as she said, "Father."

They stared. Yuuki could feel sweat on his palms, could sense his heart racing, and could sense the girl's almost excited nervousness.

"T-tea," he managed to say at last. "Want some tea?"

---

"Pffhahahahahaha! Oh, I'm sorry, I just--I didn't expect you to get--h-hahahahaha--"

---

"So..." Chiaki asked. "What was it like? Banging her, I mean. Or... banging yourself, I guess."

"It was like sleeping with your mother." Except he was sure sleeping with his mother wouldn't have been nearly as awkward, because at least she wouldn't have been laughing at his inexperience.

"Oh, yeah? Well, _your_ mother's--"

"That was not an invitation to make a 'your mother' joke, Chiaki."

"What? Goddamn."

* * *

_Yoko and Yosuke - The only way Yosuke's ever going to get laid._

"It's not that I'm gay or anything," Yosuke said, as he fumbled with the condom.

"I'm not, either," said Yoko. "It's just that--you know..."

"Right. It's like sleeping with yourself. B-because you are... myself. And I'm definitely a guy! Even if you aren't."

"Exactly! Just because partner has a cute nose--"

"And just because he's got a great ass--"

"Oh, yours, too?" Yoko sounded almost relieved. "I know! It's like she's been genetically engineered to make people fall for her!"

"It's the charisma."

"Oh, yeah." Then she swatted Yosuke's hands away from his penis and said, "Here, let me help you get that on. Now put it in already."

* * *

_Kana and Kanji - Mirrors in reverse._

"U-uh," said Kanji. "Welcome... Welcome to Tatsumi Textiles..."

The girl looked like bad news: short, pale hair, a nose piercing, and all of five feet tall. Wore a gakuran like a cape, and had a way of glaring at Kanji that made him wilt a bit. The weird thing was, she seemed to be intimidated of him, too, so they were locked in a weird cycle of glaring, shrinking back, and then glaring again.

"This ain't gettin' us anywhere," Kanji said.

"You're right," the girl agreed, sounding almost relieved. "So what are you doing in my mother's store?"

"Your mother's store? This is _my_ Ma's store."

There was a long, awkward silence.

"That button," they said at the same time, pointing to the second button of the other's gakuran. Then they glared at one another, shrank away, and glared again.

"It's... coming loose," said the girl. "I can help you fix it, if y'want."

"Yeah, sure," Kanji said. "Let me get yours for you, too. Just as a favor."

They went to the backroom and went for the sewing kit at the same time.

_Winner!_, went Kanji's gaydar. --No, what, wait a fuckin' moment--

She punched him.

"Aww, fuck! You little punk, you want a piece of me?!"

"Only if you get a piece of me first!"

"That how you want it? Fine! You asked for it! Get bent! Get bent, right now!"

---

"Think we should interrupt them?" Chiaki asked Yuuki.

The needlepoint stitch on the pillow case was absolutely _fascinating_.

* * *

_Ren and Rise - Starcrossed._

"It's a bit risque," said the director. "But the two of you are supposed to be twin siblings, separated at birth."

"This wasnt in the script, said Ren. He and Rise glanced at one another. They they _would_ make convincing siblings, though, wouldn't they?

"I thought we were supposed to be childhood friends," Rise said.

"That's why it's called _separation at birth_, dumbass," said the director. "Look, let's just go over the scene one more time. Just as a practice shoot. Kujikawa-san, start out by the window. Kujikawa-kun, you should be on the bed. Everyone ready? Lights! Camera! And... action!"

"I... I don't think we can keep doing this," said Rise. Even from where he was on the bed, Ren could sense her trembling. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, to protect her, but his role dictated that he sit on the bed and stare at the door like a jackass. "Y-you're supposed to be my brother, and--and why aren't you saying anything?!" She was turning to him, her eyes brimming bright with tears, and Ren's breath was arrested in his lungs.

"Toko-san," he said.

"No! No, don't call me that anymore! Its forbidden!" She rushed for the door, but Ren grabbed Rise by the arms and spun her around, so her slight, small frame was pressed against his.

"Who cares what they think?" he said. "We can be anything we want to be! Anyone we want to be! No one else has to know. It can just be the two--mmnnnppphhh--" He still had two more lines to say, but hey, he wasn't going to object to an early kiss. Especially when she was working at his shirt like that. He groped, blindly, for the doorknob, swung the door open, and shut it, nearly tripping over the set's wires. He caught himself against the fourth wall, and then, in a dark corner of the studio, proceeded to screw his doppelganger senseless.

* * *

_Nao and Naoto - The silver screen noir version._

"Do you think I look more feminine with or without the hat?" asked Nao.

"That's my hat," Naoto said flatly.

"But it looks rather fetching on me, doesn't it?" Nao took the hat off, and tossed it into the air.

"That's my hat. Return it to me."

Nao adjusted the tie of his sailor collar. Then, like the true femme fatale he was, he crooked his finger towards Naoto and said, "If you want it so badly, then you'll just have to come get it for yourself."

She went up to him, so close that their chests were pressed together. He caught her arms together, linked his hands behind her neck, and kept her low enough that he could reach up and kiss her lips.

"... That was unusual," Naoto concluded when the kiss broke.

"I agree," said Nao with a frown. "The pretty lady and the detective always have some chemistry." They stared, deep, into one another's eyes. Naoto considered, very briefly, hitting Nao over the head with the butt of her revolver. Then Nao kissed her again. And again. And again.

Somewhere in all that mess, her shirt found itself on the floor and her pants were around her knees and Nao was helping her into a strap-on.

She had been so content that she didn't even realize Nao had run off with her hat until she was already home.

* * *

_Teddie and Teddie - Scoring outside the zone._

"No one's in that bear suit right now, right?" Yuuki asked Chiaki.

"Well," said Chiaki. "It does sound like Teddie's found someone in there..."

The bear suit rattled around some more.

"... They sound... busy," Kana said, as though they hadn't just walked in on her and that Kanji dude an hour earlier. "You wanna open it, senpai?"

"Are you kidding? Yoko will never let me hear the end of it."

_"Oh, I always knew Iwould score with a hot stud!"_

_"You... you think I'm a hot stud?! I've never been gladder in mylife!"_

"..." went Yuuki.

"..." went Chiaki.

Kana stole a "VACANT" sign from the electronics aisle of Junes, and placed it on the front of Teddie's bear suit.

* * *

_Shouko and Souji - clean up in aisle two, clean up in aisle two._

"We've talked with Igor," said Souji. "He says that there's been a tear between the dimensions."

The Investigation Team gaped. So did the other Investigation Team. The two teams had pushed two tables together in the Junes food court, and formed a perfect mirror image of one another. It was... strange.

"Is there anything we can do to fix it?" said Rise.

"He mentioned something about the joining of two opposite beings," said Shouko.

"Well, we've all been doing a lot of that," said Ren. He, Yosuke, and Chiaki shared a three-way high five.

Dead silence, as the two leaders stared at one another.

"W-wait a minute, partner," Yosuke said. "You mean you haven't--"

Souji whispered something into Shouko's ear. Then, with identically jaunty grins, Souji took Shouko by the shoulders and led her to the furniture department of Junes.

"We'll be back in a few," said Shouko.

---

Half an hour later, Souji returned to the food court. There were only seven people waiting for him--seven people of, he thought with a relieved sigh, the right sex.

The others were staring in mute horror, though, at a point just beyond his shoulder. Souji turned around, very slowly, and caught a glimpse of a male Kashiwagi making out with the female one. And then, to his horror, he spotted Nanako walking hand-in-hand with a nearly identical boy. Walking a few paces behind them was Dojima-san and Dojima-san. And behind them were two Adachis, each holding a mug of coffee and chasing after their superiors, all the while glaring and trying to trip the other.

... He needed to pay Igor another visit.

* * *

_Adachi and Adachi - there can only be one._

"Bitch," Adachi hissed into Adachi's ear.

"Man-whore."

"Slut."

"Douche."

"Cunt--" their legs tangled together, and the coffee mugs went flying out of their hands as they slammed into the ground, Tohru Adachi against Tohru Adachi, wrestling for dominance.

They stopped when neither of the Dojimas yelled at them to stop.

Probably because they were making out on the bench and violating a dozen public decency laws.

Souji, the good boy that he was, was guiding Nanako and the other Dojima boy into the store as quickly as he could, which left the two Adachis on the grass.

"Bitch," he said.

"Man-whore," she said, a hungry look in her eyes.

Ohh, yeah. Who was a lady killer?

She bit him, dragged him to the back of the shop, and threw him to the ground.

Well, hell.

* * *

_Igor and Igorina - the Discworld version._

"Welcome to the Velvet Room, thur," said Igorina.

"Is this a dream?" Souji asked. Igorina reminded him of Ippon-Datara mixed with a Legion: limbs and appendages where they didn't belong, jerky movements, and a column of stitches marching up and down her face whenever she spoke or smiled.

"Not at all, thur. Thith ith another dimenthion, thur. You've broken the fourth wall. Maeth over there ith trying to fix thingth."

From the looks of it, Maes was having his way with Margaret, instead.

"How... how long will this take?" Souji asked.

"Don't know, thur. Thit tight. Thith might take a while, thur."

"Great," Souji said with a sigh.

"If you want, we can break down the hole we just fixed. Let the old otherth come back, thur."

"Go ahead," said Souji. He needed something to remove the sight of his uncle and the other Dojima-san making out on a bench from his mind's eye.

"Very well, thur. Just give me a moment."

Igorina kicked the door of the Velvet Room open, and in stepped Igor. Maes, too, left with Igorina, though not before giving Margaret a long, sultry kiss.

"Welcome to the Velvet Room," said Igor. "Not to fear. The Velvet Room... sprung a leak, you could say."

"A leak?" Souji asked.

"Oh, it's nothing important," said Igor. "But if you had fixed that tire like I asked you to that one time, this wouldn't have happened, you know. When you return, everything will be back to normal."

"What do you mean by normal?"

"Ah, well, all the old conceptual art will be sent back to the books--"

"But who's the conceptual art?"

"Ah, yes," said Igor, smiling. "The age old question: am I the one dreaming of the butterfly, or am I the butterfly dreaming of a man?"

"Do butterflies even have enough brain matter to dream?"

"I believe this is your stop," Igor said, and shooed Souji out of the limo.

* * *

_The Butterfly and the Storm._

"They say that when you see your doppelganger, you'll die the next day," Shouko said to Souji. Their futon--neither of them could agree whose possessions were whose, and so they had both settled on referring everything as 'theirs' for the time being--was a bit crowded. Naturally, the best way to remedy the lack of space would be to remove their clothes.

"I'd think my doppelganger would be a man," Souji said. "Don't you ever get tired of talking in metaphors?"

"I think it's cool."

... The sad thing was, so did he. "Igor asked me whether I was the butterfly--"

"I've heard this one. 'Am I the butterfly in the storm, or the storm within the butterfly?'"

"I've never heard of that one."

"What? Really?" Shouko rolled on top of Souji, her legs on either side of his chest. "Well... You know, things like that..."

"Mm. Let's stop thinking for a while."

Good thing they had just finished soundproofing the room, he thought, and kissed his other self on the mouth.

---

**Authors Notes:** Written for the kink meme. Prompt: _One of the characters somehow ends up meeting a gender-bended version of themselves. They make hot, selfcesty love together. _

The more irritating part of this was reformatting all the HTML into rich text. Seriously, ? 


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